Day 12 - The person you hate most/has caused you a lot of pain.
There is a lot of people to choose from, I don’t know who has hurt me the most. My mum, dad, him..her…meh…
To the asshole,
I’m sick of you, you were meant to be my friend, a really close friend of mine. You told people lies, what were you trying to make yourself to be like? You told someone that you took a blade from me in school WTF! that never happened, I don’t want you giving people the wrong impression of me, I’m so glad she told me so I was able to tell her that never happened.
I was in the mental health hospital and I got texts from you saying you were going to end your life, telling me you were starving yourself and that you cut yourself every day, you told me how you kissed your crush and he called you ‘babe’ or something like that. Well there is so much more…I was in a bad place and hearing things like that really wasn’t helping me at all. I had a little panic attack when I saw you sent a message scared of what it was going to be, I had to get someone else to see the message before I even read it, I needed them to tell me it was okay for me to read it.
When I go back to school I have to see you again, every single day I’m going to see you. I’m really not looking forward to it, I hope to god you don’t try and hug me or even talk to me. I’m really done with you, everything you’ve done and said, I’m just sick of it.
I was talking to another one of my friends and they have told me what you have been like, they said you’re just trying to ‘get one up on me’ and it really does look that way.
You showed me your cuts, you really don’t get how triggering that was for me…I was so glad though that they weren’t deep or wide. I don’t get why you showed me, you sent me pictures…
I hate you.
Day 12 - Screenshot of your desktop
Day 11 - What is your favourite quote? I don’t have a favourite, it’s like with bands I can’t just pick one.
'It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.'
'Some days are just bad days, that's all. You have to experience sadness to know happiness, and I remind myself that not every day is going to be a good day, that's just the way it is!'
'I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.'
'I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.'
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
Day 11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to.
I really wish you were here, I never met you, you passed away at a very young age. You should be here, with your mum and your dad, your twin and your baby sister. They had another baby you know, she’s called Lilly, she’s beautiful, your brother, Leon, loves to hug her and he kisses her head and calls her baba and tries to give her some of his food.
Your mum and dad are going to be getting money soon, for the medical mistake, if they didn’t make that mistake you’d still be here! your dad is taking it the worst, it has been just over three years since you passed. When he gets drunk he’s the worst person ever, if you were here I’m sure he wouldn’t be. The last time he was drunk he was so horrible to me, he nearly got arrested and I had to be taken out the house to somewhere safe.
It’s so weird because you should be here, you should be here with your twin and your sister. I remember your funeral, I cried my heart out for you dear Tommy. That day I got to see my father though, that was amazing for me because I hadn’t seen him in a while and he hugged me, Tommy he hugged me!
I miss you little cousin ~ R.I.P